King of Bollywood

RGV ki Jhaag.......

2007-09-01T08:21:00.000-07:00

Froth –noun (courtesy www.dictionary.com)
1. an aggregation of bubbles, as on an agitated liquid or at the mouth of a hard-driven horse; foam; spume.
2. something unsubstantial, trivial, or evanescent: The play was a charming bit of froth.

The counterpart of “froth” in Hindi is “jhaag”

The question you ask after coming out of RGV ki Aag is that why wasn’t this movie called RGV ki Jhaag.

Come to think of it, the movie is actually all Jhaag and no, this jhaag is not the Ghadi detergent cake variety.

“An aggregation of bubbles”, you bet the movie is just that.

You have Heero played by Ajay Devgan who switches between looking like a loser boozer and a Tihar jail inmate acting in a humorous Republic day skit.

You have Raj played by the new lad Prashant who thinks anyone with a 6 plus height and a two day stubble is Amitabh Bachchan.

You have Ghunghroo who tries to compensate for the lack of acting skills by face contortions and ends up irritating like ghunghroos jingling at 3 in the night.

You have Devi Ji (yeah, with an emphasis on Ji) played by Sushmita who starts off with great dignity but later loses it all by first cooing with Raj and then playing a stupid Shadi Ram Gharjode with him for Heero (Veeru).

You have Narasimha, the new age Thakur played by Mohan Lal who is all stoic, strong and silent. Even his family members believe his fingers got cut in an accident. But when he sees Raj and Heero chasing the thugs away for the first time, he gets so carried away that he invites the whole clan to his living room and narrates them the whole story as a grandfather narrating Bikram Betal.

You have Rajpal Yadav who tries to make us laugh by changing his voice (an extremely painful rendition) and face contortions. You end up confused whether who irritated more – Rajpal or Nisha Kothari.

Amitabh, thankfully is the only saving grace of the movie. He looks brutal, psychopathic, filthy and carries his disgustingly sadistic role with panache.

Post facto, there’s not even a single dialogue in the movie that you remember after you leave your seat, so much so for a Sholay remake.

The movie falls flat miserably.
There are just too many weak links.

Casting is pathetic, Ajay looks too old with Nisha Kothari all with his eye bags and Sushmita looks like doing baby-sitting with Prashant.

There is absolutely no chemistry between the lead pair. Jai and Veeru worked so well because they were different, one a garrulous flirt and the other, a strong silent type. Here, both are similar. The characters are extremely badly written and half baked. Heck, you don't even feel anything for their friendship. Jai dying in the original is a landmark scene which induces heavy feelings and even tears in the soft hearted to this day. In Aag, Raj dies and you don't feel a thing, you are just not bothered.

Gunghroo as the new Basanti should be nominated for the rotten pumpkin award for most irritating performance, if there is one.

The scenes recreated from the original classic are extremely painful and headache inducing. Imagine a heavy eyed Ajay sitting near an old well with a gun to his temple and a bottle in the other and saying “Mar Jaoonga”. 50 other people surround the well and shout, “Parvati mummy, haan bolo na..” in chorus and all of this in the typical dark, semi dark sepia toned RGV canvas lifted straight from Sarkar. Humorous, duh!

Songs are below average and you don't remember a word or a sound of the cacophony once you step out of the theater. Background score is non-descript at best.

Urmila in Mehbooba number looks enticing and the Abhishek Bachchan jig, though out of place, may seem like a relief to some.

The movie fails because of various reasons. On the face of it, it looks like RGV was too pre-occupied with his maverick film maker status, “I am a revolutionary and anything that I do will turn into gold regardless of whatever I do in it.” and his star-maker status, “Yeah, I can take any Tom Dick Harry and get a performance equal to Jai in the original Sholay” and not really into making the movie. Several of the great performers have been reduced to carricatures simply due to lack of application from the director. At times you have to pinch yourself that this is actually directed by RGV who has a name for himself in intelligent film making and has been crying hoarse about his being the greatest Sholay fan out to re-interpret the magical classic.

Aag is a bad piece of cine-making. Just that. Comparing the original classic with this Aag-Jhaag is an insult to our collective intelligence.

In the end, the movie is nothing but RGV’s ego-trip. In that sense, we may actually call it RGV ki Jhaag.

Don vs Nach Baliye

2006-11-01T22:55:00.000-08:00

So all the hoopla made me go and watch the new Don. As luck would have it, my friend Motu accompanied me. 30 minutes into the movie, he leaned to my side and whispered, "Yaar, isse badhiya to Nach Baliye hi dekhte, tune ch**** banwa diya"

Now, the humble movie buff that yours truly is, I harbor some notions of intellectual superiority when when it comes to movies vis-a-vis Motu. So decided not to make such a snap judgement about the movie.

By just being a movie, a creative form of expression, the new Don merits an independent look. Also, since it is so closely tied to the original 1978 movie, not comparing it gives just half the story.

DON, in Its Own Right

So, for the time being lets forget 1978. The movie opens with the closeup of SRK's metrosexual lips saying, "Don" in as husky a voice as "Raj Malhotra" can manage. Ahem.

Kareena looks hot though the sound track and dance movements seem quite dated. SRK's face contortions start right from the first scene. Looks like a character trying very hard to convince he is evil.

Loads of style, gadgets, gizmos, international locales and fast cars. One thing that hits you is that instead of being a suave womaniser, Don comes across as a cheap lecher a la lungi-wearing-gutkha-chewing Pan-Masala manufacturer or carpet exporter from Delhi. Poking a finger in Priyanka's blouse scene can never be described as sophistication or suaveness or even endearingly, tantalisignly naughty - it is only cheap.

SRK chewing pan and trying to mouth colloquial dialect sounds like a young BPO Call center guy chewing pan after being heavily drunk and trying to mock Lalu Prasad Yadav - all the, "Khane ko kapra nahin rahega, pahanne ko roti nahi rahega, teen guna lagaan dena parega" tone intact.

Car chase scenes are tiring.

Om Puri and Boman Irani look so unfit (physically unfit, since the role did demand a more athletic presence) and unsuited to the tough cop roles that you wonder who casted them in the first place. Both of them running around and firing bullets with all the James Bondesque style look funny.

Pawan Malhotra does not look convincing as SRK's peer in the gang.

Priyanka looks cute - she doesn't have to act. Oh, and did you notice Isha Kopikkar.

Story has so many plots and sub-plots that you lose track and interest after a while. Many things happen without you realising why ther are happening and how they lead upto the climax. The final twist looks almost like an after thought.

All in all, the movie is like one of those kids in class who are neither extremely notoriuos nor extremely brilliant - the ones who the teacher won't recognise even if he teaches them for five years. Had it not been for so much hoopla, you wouldn't even notice the Don.

Don 2006 vs Don 1978
Story
Story of 2006 Don is more contrived presumably to give it a suspense thriller edge but somehow, so may things happen in so many directions that it fails to give an impression of a tight storyline and sharp execution.

1978 don, on the other hand had a good, tight script and all the scenes added to the build up of the final climax and appeared doing so.

Music
Music you cannot compare. Original soundtrack is much much ahead of the new Don. The endearing quality of the older songs is completely missing in the new version - so much so that you don't remember even a single song after coming out of the theater - except for "Khaike pan" and "Main hoon don" and "Yeh mera dil", for obvious reasons.

The new songs are non descript, the renewed songs are very pale remixes. Particularly, "Main hoon Don" is a huge disappointment. Shaan's voice may be good for "Tanha Dil", it doesn't do justice to a suave killer proclaiming he is very dangerous. Lyrics are thoughtless, Don saying, "Bahut hi khatarnak hoon main" is inane.

"Khaike paan" is listless, you may buy the CD and play it on a couple of your drives to Jaipur but nothing beyond that. "Yeh mera Dil" sounds more like some "Pussy Cat Remix" and you'd rather Rakhi Sawant gyrate on it.

Caharacters/Acting
Protagonist - the usual SRK routine - face contortions, expansive gestures, exaggerated mannerisms, more like Rajnikant - ok make it Rajnikant dressed up by Manish Malhotra. Bhaiyya antics look more like an NRI kid immitating a country bumpkin. In-a-bath-tub-watching-Tom-and-Jerry looks like an extension of the Lux ad.

Bachchan was superb. Endearing as Vijay and sophistication personified as Don. No extra gestures, not even an extra twitch of an eyelid, very measured and deliberate mannerisms - like a man in control - just like the character of Don would be.

Priyanka Chopra has precious little to do. So does Isha and Pawan Malhotra. We don't connect with Arjun Rampal as JJ while for Pran's character, you did feel a lot of empathy.

Iftikhar evoked a certain reverence as a mission obsessed cop. Boman Irani fails to shine. Its like a very average cop act. Om Puri is wasted.

Direction/Cinetaography/Action
Action sequences are decidedly better and more stylish in the new one. International locales give it a more contemporary look.

Success of direction should be measured by how well the director is able to make the audience feel the joys, sorrows and travails of the characters on screen - how well can he make you connect to the goings on. The new Don falls flat on this count.

The impact of the old movie can be gauged that even today, there are people who love the khaike paan song and imitate Bachchan's dialogues. Oooh, Bachchan's dialogues remind me of something more - with all due respect to SRK fans and his histrionics ability, SRK mouthing Bachchan's dialogues actually looked humorous - it was like Ganga Deen Chaube of "Ghanta Ghar Ram-Leela Mandli" imitating the Ravana of DD's Ramayan serial.

You can always say that making a remake is a risky job and all that but what needs to be kept in mind is that whatever interest this new Don evoked was largely due to it being a remake of the classic. Had it been a stand-alone movie; with this kind of characterisation, story telling and acting, it wouldn't even have been noticed.

Langda Tyagi.. Bahubali.....BAHUBALI Langda Tyagi

2006-08-17T23:45:00.000-07:00

Initially, had plans to write a review on Omkara after having watched the movie twice. Even before that, infact even before the movie was released, thought of writing the review of song lyrics of Omkara - but while all these urges were controlled by my inherent lethargy and inertia, I couldn't help but pay a tribute to one of the best villaineous performances in the form of our one legged Bahubali, who, infact never was one.

The initial impression of Saif was that long haired skinny lover boy crooning Ole-Ole in Yeh Dillagi. Mindless films and senseless acting - several such films came during this period - Ashiq Awara, Aao Pyar Karein. Even as late as Kachche Dhage, he seemed to be content with playing uber rich, vain lover boy. Dil Chahta Hai displayed a semblance of the actor in him. Ek Haseena thi was cool and it showed Saif could act. Even there, he played the rich, urban guy who had to display some emotions apart from just shaking his abundant hair and appear besotted with the dame.

And then came Omkara. Imagine the Nick of Salaam Namaste with short cropped hair, yellow teeth, sweaty clothes, a .303, a swear happy tongue and a vicious limp. Infact in one of the scenes in Omkara, when Langda is sleeping on a cot, his underwear (actually janghia) and that too, patre wallah what people wear in UP and Bihar is visible from under his pants. Contrast this with his Calvin Klein underwear visible from his under his jeans on the beach in Salam Namaste and you will know that life has come full circle for Saif.

Langda is violent, he is powerful, he is foul mouthed, he is evil and he schemes like only he can. He is loyal but has a twisted sense of loyalty. Infact, the character has several intricacies - in the climax when everything is lost and Omkara discovers the whole game, Langda says, "Know what you know - my lies and truth have no difference now". There is surrender, there is resignation but you are not sure if there is repentance.

Even in the opening reel, he tells Dolly's prospective groom about the imminent abduction of his bride. You can argue both ways if this act smacks of an already existing dilution in his loyalty towards Omkara.

And Saif has played it to the T. More so, considering his roles so far, his blue blooded family background and his chocolate lover boy image - the conviction, honesty and sincerety shows on screen and burns a hole in the viewers mind-space.

Infact you cannot rule out the distant resemblance with Gabbar Singh in the shot when Langda walks limpingly with a gun in one hand and the camera zooms out on the rocky landscape all around.

I can bet half the money in my pocket that this was the life time best role for Saif - even if he retires tomorrow - he's got something to proudly show to his grandchildren (of course, after they cross 18, that is)

Fanaa - Stay Away, Save Yourself

2006-06-05T23:56:00.000-07:00

When finally, Amir Khan died in the closing reel, the immediate feeling was of tremendous relief, "Finally, the torture ended". Yes, torture it was, of an unspeakable nature.

The movie starts innocently enough - exotic snowy locales, Kajol doing a oooh-so-cute act of saluting the national flag in the wrong direction because of her blindness and the warm couple of Rishi Kapoor and Kirron Kher as her parents.

The girl lands up in Delhi, ostensibly to sing on Republic day parade but really to find her Shahzada. Shahzada, she does find, in a too long drawn, over the top quasi-romantic sequence lifted straight from ancient age musicals where the protagonists converse in couplets - only the depth of the meaning was missing. The director tries too hard to portray Amir as the happy go lucky, shayari-happy, flirtatious and charming tour guide. The effect was that Amir looked a better dressed, better groomed, better looking and considerably older version of boys of RMP Degree College who stand outside gutkha shops and sing the "sheeshi bhari gulab ki, sheesha chatak gaya" shayari to their female classmates who pass by.

The girl is swept off her feet, confesses her love and finally settles for one night of romp-in-the-hay when the charming tour guide confesses that he treats women as just another city - look around, have fun and look for another. The director gets an excuse to show close-up shots of Kajol in body hugging Kurtas with rain falling sensously on her.

Amir ostensibly dies by the end of the first half. After the movie, you wish that he should have indeed died after the first half. Also, Kajol gets back her eye sight in a sequence which is only a shade less miraculous than those 70's white-light-from-Sai-Baba's-idol-entering-Nirupa-Rai's-eyes episodes.

Amir, avatar-2, is a sophisticated, super-intelligent, ultra focussed terrorist, assassin on the prowl. He impersonates as a Captain of Indian Army, plays soccer with other officers, becomes pals and finally poisons them. Meanwhile, the Indian Intelligence team led by a caricature of a sleuth Sharad Saxena and a super smart power woman Tabu are on his heels.

Amir blasts, shoots, slashes, stabs countless Indian Army folks and lands up wounded on Kajol's door, who has a son from their one night of passion.

And then real torture begins. You are subjected to an unending saga of paternal love sprouting and growing and developing between a murderer and a kid who he fathered with an innocent girl while on one of his murder missions. You are expected to feel the warmth of tears, the sensitivity and emotions of a cold blooded killer and his son which he never intended to come back to. We are expected to feel his pain, as if the people he killed on the way were just ohh-by-the-way statistics and noe of them had cute, intelligent 7 year old sons.

His terrorist buddies are waiting for his signal to collect the nuclear missile trigger, Indian army is on his heels and our hero finds time to sing, not one but two songs - one for the kid and another with the mother (on second thoughts, well, he couldn't have sung with the old Rishi Kapoor and that left only two people in the household - only one song per person, why then am I cribbing ???)

Overly stretched climax, illogical sequences, mindless happenings later Kajol shoots Amir to save the country. Jai Hind.

Acting wise, Kajol excels. Amir tries hard but is not convincing, and yes, I am talking about the perfectionist, though I believe that more than Amir, its his characterization that is at fault. A very thinly created character with innumerable inconsistencies, anybody could not have played the character any better. The kid is cute, Rishi pulls off well, Sharad Saxena is made to look an idiot, Tabu is wasted.

All in all, one of the worst movies I ever saw. No entertainment value, no message value and no emotions value.

Wonder for how long will they keep peddling such retro stuff in this age of multiplexes and parallel cinema and aware audience.

Rang De Basanti - Cracko Stuff

2006-02-01T12:34:00.000-08:00

It's very rare that you see a movie that involves you right from the opening credits down to the closing ones, more so, when you claim to be a Hindi movie fanatic and have sat through umpteen movies right from the classy ones to the made in Ooty Mithun fare.

But then, movies like Rang De.. don't come every day.

Talk of the strong points, the movie has many. Story, background score, acting everything. However, what strikes you the most is the almost poetic juxtaposition of historical characters and incidents to the contemporary ones. That Rakeysh Om Prakash Mehra comes from ad world shows, that he is a poet at heart comes through. So much so that while he depicts historical events right from Kakori train dacoity to Lala Lajpat Rai lathi charge to Jalianwala Bagh to Assembly Bomb episode but preserves the Chandra Shekhar Azad Alfred Park shoot out for the climax. That's a genius speaking and it has to be appreciated.

May be it comes from his ad background or his very keen understanding of the visual media, Rakeysh creates some amazing visuals in this movie. The scene with four protagonists jumping, bare chested with an aircraft taking off in the background, which is also used in the promos might just get highlighted but the movie is full of such visual treats.

The backr ground score is a winner. No mistake.

Acting wise, all have done their part. Soha impresses and so do others though Sharman Joshi hams a bit and is irritating with his affected Haryanwi/Punjabi accent. The camaraderie between the protagonists is palpable but the careful mapping of past events with the present is simply amazing.

Another strength is the sharp dialogues. At times, you just feel like standing up and applauding.

The sense of involvement is so high with the audience that even the multiples crowd claps at not less than four-five instances with the strongest applause reserved for the scene when the defence minister is gunned down.

All in all, a great movie, classic stuff with all the makings of a cult movie. Don't miss it for the world.

An ode to Bhaiyyaji

2005-12-19T02:32:00.000-08:00

The white Indica was tugging ungracefully through the dusty roads of Huzurabad, a small town about 200 kms from Hyderabad. It was the first hint of civilisation (for all it's worth) after miles of travelling through the Andhra hinterland. My mobile, coming into the network zone for the first time in an hour, excitedly beeped the arrival of a couple of SMSes. I sleepily went through the motion of unlocking the keypad and opening the inbox. Usual wife admonitions of not eating any junk food while travelling, said the first one. One of my co-passengers sitting at the back - a colleague and a client - burped loudly, reminding me of the idli-sambhar consumed at a road-side stall about an hour ago. An apologetic smile passed my lips. With sleepy eyes and slow fingers, I scrolled to the next message. It was from a colleague. "What is it?", I thought and opened it. It simply said -
"Amitabh Bachchan died"

I could not understand. May be I was sleepy...may be...may be I was tired...may be...may be I was tense...may be...but I just could not understand what it meant. I closed my eyes and it suddenly stuck me. I turned around and screamed into the face of the equally sleepy colleague - "Amitabh died." The client responded before the colleague and screamed - "What?", springing upright in his ill-designed seat. The colleague too responded now with a "Kya baat kar rahaa hai?" look. Nagaswamy, the Telegu-speaking, God-fearing driver pumped the brakes and said - "Amitabh Bachchan died, saar?" I did not reply. Nor did the other two. Nagaswamy got the answer and after a minute of awkward silence, said - "Great actor". I put my head back on the head-rest that Tata had decided to bless the front-riders with and looked out of my window. And it was now that it sunk into me.

Amidst barren fields, blessed only with heaps of limestone, I heard my heart pound. Almost as loud as the melancholic throb of diesel engine accompanying us from the Paradise Chowk in Hyderabad. Images of peasants wearing a white shirt and a short white lungi scrolled past my eyes, reminding me, ironically, of the movie Saudagar Amitabh had done before he became a super-star. Minutes dragged by in solemn silence.

"I thought he was supposed to be recovering", my colleague finally spoke. "Tch", went the client's tongue. I did not feel like responding. I thought I saw Abhishek in white kurta-pyjamas and shades and closed my eyes. I knew what was coming. I turned my head towards outside, determined not to be caught by the client in this vulnerable state. A lump appeared in my dry throat and lingered for a few painstaking moments. I decided to cut my trip short and be back in Bombay the first thing next morning. The network which brought this news with its arrival was still around and I thought I would call up my colleague and take the details. His enthusiastic "Hey" jarred with the sombre mood travelling with the car. I choked back the lump which was threatening to reappear and asked him the details - the gory details. He replied - "Did you not read the complete SMS?" The cruel network decided to treach at this very moment. I tried calling back but it was just not my day. I decided to read the message again.
"Amitabh Bachchan died" stared blankly in my face. I lingered longer than I intended to on this and felt sick. I quickly scrolled down....and down....and further down. There was nothing else in it. I scrolled even further....almost furiously now. I thought I saw something but before I could read it, I went past it. I decided to return, this time a lot slower. There. "In Deewar, Sholay, Aakhiri Raasta. Have a nice day." I could not understand and re-read it. Then again. And again. Before the cruel joke hit me.

No, it was not jubiliation that stuck me first when reality dawned. It was a feeling of disgust. I apologised to the client and the colleague. The driver got the message too and raised his head up in a small prayer. And this was Andhra, the land of NTR / Chiranjeevi. I returned to watching the goats hop and jump out of our way. And thought. No, not of the gentleman who sent me the SMS. It was apparently an innocuous gesture on his part, as he himself admitted later, to brighten up my day (although I fail to see how, but I have forgiven him for that - it was a good effort gone wrong). I have even forgiven the guy who composed this SMS first. Yes, I think I have. I don't think people like him deserve my memory-space. No, I did not think of any of them. Instead, I thought of what if...

In those five minutes or so, I learnt what Amitabh means to me. And millions like me. I have not just grown up on your movies, Bhaiyyaji. They have been a reason as to why I have enjoyed my life as much as I have. I still cry when Jai dies. I still laugh when India plays against Pakistan at Wankhede Stadium, Bombay (even though Wasim Bari and Wasim Raja are no longer found anywhere around the crease). I still flinch when the Manu Verma in me turns into Raghavan. I still smile when someone refuses to pick up money thrown at him. And I think I always will. You are my mood, Bhaiyyaji. And as I saw you walking out of Lilavati a couple of days back, all I wanted to tell you, and myself, was this - "You are God. And nothing can ever happen to God." Amen.

- Arguably the greatest Amitabh Bachchan alive

Ek Ajnabee: So-So Stuff (Reviewer - Sudhir Vinod)

2005-12-11T22:02:00.000-08:00

Apoorva Lakhia is more known for being the Assistant Director for arguably the best (Lagaan, 2001) and the worst (Boom, 2003) movies to come out of Bollywood in recent times than for his own directorial debut, Mumbai Se Aaya Mera Dost (2003). MSAMD told the story of the power dynamics changing in a remote Rajasthani village due to the arrival of a shahar-returned Abhishek Bachchan and the Television set that he carries back with him. The treatment lacked the intrinsic knowledge one requires of a village life and the realism that needs to be ingrained in a presentation like this. However, as Lakhia travels from Jaisalmer to Bangkok for this movie, and changes the feel of his subject from realistic to chic, he seemed to have found his feet. Or so I thought in the first one hour of the movie.

It's a story about an ex-army colonel (Big B) arriving in Bangkok at the request of his ex-subordinate (Arjun Rampal) and now-friend to protect a richie rich kid from the rising kidnapping scene there. The relationship between the kid and the old man (if you can, for a moment, dare say that about Bachchan) starts on a sour note, what with the hyper-active girl kid out on a Mujhse-Dosti-Karoge? spree being unable to come to terms with the terseness of the man battling demons of the past. However, the charm and the innocence of childhood finally wins over Bachchan and he falls in love (no raising of eyebrows, please) with the kid. In the meanwhile, the kidnapping mafia smells money in the girl's schoolbag and kidnaps her, seriously injuring Big B in the process. Her rich family is all ready to throw money to save her but some misunderstandings / deliberate schemings ensures that the money does not reach the right (or should I say, the wrong) hands and the kid is apparently knocked off. This is the first half of the movie. The second half is just about Big B out on the loose trying to avenge his dear one's death. And this is where the film falters, despite attempts to create webs of intrigue and suspense. The intrigue is not intriguing enough and the suspense is hardly suspenseful. And like in so many movies, Bachchan kills the enemy ("ek ek ko....chun chun ke....") and the girl is saved (this being one of the intrigues, I am sorry to blow this one on you). And then they live happily ever after - believe it or not, they actually show the kid becoming a full-blown (hmm...) Lara Dutta, and walking away in the sunset in the company of the Big B and the Hot B (Abhishek Bachchan). But frankly, this was the only really corny scene in the movie.

The look of the film is chic and exudes a certain newness. What mars it is an insipid story and a loose screenplay, specially in the second half. Some of the important points / twists / turns in the movie appear deliberate and hence predictable and hence fail to shock and hence bore you.
There is a lack of consistency in Bachchan's character. He starts off as a man who does not talk AT ALL. Then the girl kid infuses life in him and he starts talking (but only with her). Then the kid dies, despite her bodyguard (Big B) being there. I thought such an instance should have shut up the old man for ever. But no, that does not happen. Instead, Bachchan now starts enjoying pleasures of speech - check out his "Aapke pichchwaade me maine bomb lagaa diyaa hai" ending with a "Happy Diwali" dialogue bit with one of the villains in the game. The girl's character, though consistent, is loud and she speaks too intelligent for her age. Now how many 8 year old kids you know who say "Aap itne udaas aur tense kyun rehte hain Surya, learn to relax a bit" (unless it's a school play).

Bachchan manages to shine but it's more the pleasure of watching the One blast the screen rather than its relevance in the movie. His acting now is above things like characterisations, dialogues, situations etc. Arjun Rampal is strictly average. Perizaad Zorabian as the girl's mother is unimpressive. The problem with her acting is that you know it's acting. You know that she is faking it, and that she is faking it just as she has been in every single movie since Joggers' Park. Probably the most over-rated actress today. The girl kid does the job of looking cute well, sometimes a little too well though. The rest of the casting is rather poor. Lakhia chooses to stick to his tried and tested team of Lagaan and MSAMD and it backfires. The Golis and the Kachras of Champaaner look thoroughly out of place in Bang-city Bangkok and hence make the characters look unreal. Kelly Dorjee sleep-walks his way through another "chinese" role. Raaj Zutsi as the Bad Man is okie-dokie. None of the side characters manage to stand out.

The background music is good and completes the imagery well. The songs are few, far between and well-placed. Visually, the film is impressive.

Overall, a good attempt but something that could have done with a little more time and thought spent on characterisation, casting and screenplay.

Rating: 2 1/2 out of 5

Ek Ajnabee - Fast, Rocking, Stylish - But Yeh Dil Mange More (Reviewer: Lallan Singh)

2005-12-11T18:27:00.000-08:00

The movie starts in style - You have pacy beats accompanying, "They don't know.....Who is he..." with Bachhan looking uber chic in white shirt, jeans, blazer and cool shades. Nothing would suit him better.

He cracks the scene with another stellar performance - be it the silent, suicidal, boozing ex serviceman or the super stylish avenger on a ramapage - his range is fantastic and sincerity of effort superb.

You meet Arjun Rampal who is the flambouyant ex-army, boozing, smoking, fooling around with women with all that stylish brawn, scrubby stubble and tattoos. Acts well, he is one of the better model-actors around and is commendable in one-on-one shots with Bachchan.

You meet the kid who displays a range of emotions and actually matches upto Bachchan in close-up histrionics where the face fills the whole screen and no twitch of the eye goes unnoticed. She pulls it all off superbly and never seems to be perturbed by the God status of the man, she is standing infront of.

You meet the tycoon couple - Perizad, who is sincere; in the beginning she seems to be in awe of Big B and slightly out of her shoes but later on, she pulls off a wronged mother with ease.

Vikram Chatwal is insipid.

Side cast as in Kelly Dorgee and Raj Zutshi don't have much to do and while Raj pulls it off well, Kelly stammers his way through.

First half begins with Bachchan's aloof, silent act while the kid starts growing on him. The chemistry comes up well. Also, we are introduced to why the colonel is as big a stud as he is said to be and why he is perennially with the bottle.

Second half is Bachchan driven by vendetta, coupling some professional no-nonsence pursuit of baddies with an intricate plot which folds and unfolds before it finally lights up.

Action scenes are cool, with Bachchan giving some modern age Hollywoodesque no-unnecessary-fuss-to-killing display. He tortures, taunts and dares and finally slays but thats very stylishly done and nowhere does it become drab. He even matches Arjun in a fist fight and manages kicks upto his height - no mean feat at 63.

Overall, nothing outright bad about the movie - though the hollywood look and feel may just go against it. The plot is a bit intricate but you may always argue that the movie makes you think about the story even after you get out of the theater.

Its probably the dictats of the modern day cinema or the current controlled performance trend - at places you do feel that Bachchan could have been more fierce as the veteran out to avenge his sweet angel - probably, its the hangover of the old Bachchan era. Mind you, nowehere does Bachchan lack in intensity but you expect the cinema screen to explode when Bachchan is on ramapage - somehow, that fire seems a shade controlled and restrained. The culprit is Mr Lakhiya's characterization.

All in all, a nice movie. Will watch it again soon. Just a lingering feeling of "Yeh dil mange more", but then you can't blame me if I expect the world of the Big B.

"They don't know....who is He..." seems to sum it all up.

Zanjeer - 1973

2005-12-07T00:53:00.000-08:00

Reviewing a classic is a big endeavour - esp. if the classic is supposed to have launched the biggest phenomenon in Bollywood - the Big B.

Zanjeer, by Prakash Mehra in 1973 is the movie. Its name is taken in the same breath as the all time Bachchan greats like Deewar, Sholay, Don etc. Perhaps this is the reason why everytime I saw it, I somehow found it slightly lacklustre when compared with Deewar or a Kala Patthar or a Don. No doubt, the simmering intensity, the legendary baritone and the smouldering eyes were the same - still it appeared as if the X factor was missing - until I made a conscious decision. The decision was to offload the baggage of Deewar, Sholay, Don, Kala Patthar and the Bachhan phenomenon itself and watch the movie with a clean slate. Watch it as the first movie of the angry young man series, when the character did not have to carry the aura of an already established Amitabh Bachhan on his shoulders.

If you notice, the Vijay of Zanjeer is very different from the one of Deewar, Don or Kala Patthar. There is an inherent heroism in the character in the other movies, be it the cynical machoism of Deewar or self-condemning tragic hero quality of Kala Patthar or the endearing buffonery of a simpleton in Don - a certain aspirational value which goes beyond a mere mortal. On the other hand, Vijay of Zanjeer is very real, very mortal like you and me.

Vijay of Zanjeer has this unmistakable vulnerability about him (infact, you can even see pimple scars on his face in certain scenes which only add to the effect); the swagger of Deewar or the flair of Don is missing; he gets beaten almost fatally by a group of goons and thrown over a bridge like normal humans; he suffers the ignominy of being convicted of bribery and gets imprisoned (I dont remember another movie in which, he gets convicetd in such an oh-so-common-man-ish manner - there are Akhri Rasta and Kalia and Andha Kanoon etc but its either macho or heroic); he is fighting his own internal demons and is visibly awkward when expressing lighter emotions - the gauchery when he thanks Jaya for identifying the truck driver is too palpable to miss.

The point here is that Zanjeer protrayed Vijay as a common, believable man - haunted by ghosts from his childhood, driven by certain strong emotions who crosses a powerful man the wrong way. He gets treated and maltreated much like a very normal person would have been in that situation and finally rises to the situation and achieves his redemption. Post Zanjeer, the phenomenon became so big that the directors had to make some leevay for the persona that Bachchan was. To be sure, Zanjeer is not the greatest movie of Bachchan phenomenon but it was the perfect vehicle for the launch of the angry young man. I am sure the common man identified so intensely with the angry young man simply because he was very believable in his first avatar. Once the cord was struck, multitudes of population started expecting super human heroics from their messiah and that laid the perfect foundation for larger than life characters that followed subsequently.

Its a completely different perspective from the one that I held so far despite my claims to being one of the very hardcore Bachchan fanatics. The problem with us born in mid-late Seventies is that the Bachchan phenomenon was already established and raring and infact at its peak by the time we developed the sense and liking for movies and so all the Bachchan movies are viewed under the large looming shadow. The correct mindset to appreciate Zanjeer is that there was no angry young man before it.

Talking of other characters, Jaya looks very teenager-ish in the first half. Infact, in the early scenes of their silent love germinating, the couple look like very ordinary early-twenties love birds, which again adds to the typical middle class setting. However, she has this impish sensuality about her - an innocent, girlish charm. Towards the second half, she transforms into a woman standing by her man in his bid to exorcise the apparitions of the past.

Pran, as Khan is amazing. The amazing thing about Pran is that whether good or bad, his characters have never been shown as miserabale. Even the Big B comes to us as a disabled, old army man in the much later Hindustan Ki Kasam (which, incidentally, was too miserable a portrayal for Mr. Bachchan), even Amrish Puri came forward as the weak miserable father in Ghatak but not Pran. Probably his intense gaze, his aquiline nose, the deep resonating voice and the overall presence generates so much strength that he can never be weak. The way he dances to Manna Dey's voice speaks of the honesty of effort of the man - he sure is not the most natural dancer but you can sense the sincerety of effort.

Infact, in some ways, Pran as the courageous, self righteous and loyal Pathan seems to be a precursor for a lot of Muslim-uncle/friend/caretaker/wellwisher-who-ultimately-gets-killed-
-while-helping-the-hero characters that became quite a regular feature in several subsequent movies. Only, here the character is an integral part of the narrative, has an inherent charm and plays the perfect foil to the common man hero who at least needs a loyal and brave friend to take on an evil, powerful man.

Ajit as Dharam Dayal Teja also, I believe, needs to be seen detached from that Ajit legend and innumerable Ajit jokes we receive in email forwards or SantaBanta. The suave bad guy looks almost always in control and completely chilled out. He doesn't need to shout and scream and ham to establish his evilness. In that sense, he almost has a James Bondesque quality to him. Infact, his sporadic use of English was quite sophisticated (of course, we are not comparing it with the current BPO breed's Americanized one), contrary to what I had come to expect owing to so many of those Ajit jokes. His dialogues speak of a cold blooded, calculating evil who is bad without pause and without a cause - simply because he is evil and relishes that.

Music is good and no mistake.

Bindu and Om Prakash do justice to their bit roles.

Technically, though the movie is not too older than Sholay, Don, Deewar etc. but actually looks of a much previous era. Probably the colour film technology developed exponentially in those three years or Prakash Mehra did some serious cost cutting while filming Zanjeer - not really sure - but it shows.

All in all, a classic and if viewed with a conscious effort to block all that awe of the Bachchan phenomenon - just as we would have, had we been in our teens in 1973, it is sure to throw up an interesting experience.

Rok Sako to Rok Lo: Wish someone had stopped him!!!

2005-11-30T06:17:00.000-08:00

Presenting the first-hand review of Rok Sako to Rok Lo, management guru Arindam Choudhuri's planned, researched, organised foray into intelligent movie-making.

Management Lesson #1: You arrive in life when you roll into a school.Your school is your biggest thappa in life. So all of you who went to what's that place called, haan, an IIT / IIM and thought that you have arrived in life, pls reconcile to your lowly existence if your school was not called Valley High.

Management Lesson #2: Even if you are a high school drop-out, you can still inspire others.Sunny Paaji is in the most inspiration role of his life in this movie.19 years back, he was unceremoniously thrown out of his school for some small, iddly-piddly reason like beating the shit out of his Vice Principal. I mean, come on. He was just a Vice Principal. And you have to understand that the kid was under the influence of alcohol / bad company. And for God's sake - "Vidya ke mandir ka kaam raasta dikhaana hai, unhe school se nikal kar bhatkaana nahi." That injustice left such an indelible mark on the poor kid's mental health that he still hovers around the school in his long hair, unkempt beard and not to mention a Harley Davidson (sometimes in Toyota Lexus SUV also). He dies speeding his Toyota at 220 kmph in order to beat some arrogant 12th standard kids in an impromptu car race and that inspires the other kids who survived that incident to run a marathon. Move over, Mahatma Gandhi. We have found a new role model.

Management Lesson #4: Its only your school which decides whether you are a "phatichar fool" or a "Cool dude".So what if you drive a zango Yamaha Enticer while you are in 12th standard. So what if your house is a 8000 sq ft Duplex. So what if you have a personal home theatre and furniture straight out of a Gautier showroom in your state-of-the-art bedroom. If you dont study in Valley High, you are a middle-class scrounge. Even the long array of imported whiskey in your father's ultra-chic bar at home cannot deny that fact.You are doomed, you lower middle class rat.

Management Lesson #5: Valley High School encourages charity.All the girls in that school have donated all the money they get for their school uniforms to gareeb bachcha log keeping just enough money to let them wrap their modesty in a 12-inch end-to-end micro-mini (or was it mega-mini?) skirt. Now I know why I lack a value-system. I always thought about the hair on my legs not looking nice and shifted to a full-pant in 5th standard even though the norm was for 6th standard. But then, not everyone is so cultured.

Management Lesson #6: Marathon races are important events in the school calendar.Board exams? What board exams? What debates? What quizzes? What what?Did you ever run for your school in a marathon race with the school-next-door? I knew it. I knew it. You loser. You middle-class loser.

Management Lesson #7: You dont need to do all that you did to be popular in school.Our Hero (introducing Yash Pandit as Dev) has flunked twice in school (So what!!!). He does not participate in any competitions as they are too kiddish (see, his maturity). He does not have any great talent (going by the three hours of the movie, else I will take your word if you said he was a Leonardo Da Vinci in person). But hello, hello.....does that make you think he was only as popular as you in school? He is the god's gift to Bharati School. His popularity rivals that of Sachin Tendulkar's in Mumbai's Shivaji Park. So much so that even though there are 10 other kids participating in that Grand Marathon, everyone, EVERY ONE, including the parents of those kids (poor kids, tch tch!!!) cheers for him to win it.

Management Lesson #8: Degree-weegrees ki apni ahmiyat hai, but what matters in life is dosti.Can someone pls tell this to my batchmates sitting in their plush Fleet Street Office of some investment bank in London as to what they missed out on? (I am feeling good....at last....someone understood my point-of-view).

Management Lesson #9: It takes great market research to make a movie.Did you know (straight out of Choudhury's Believe it or not)- If you house-break into a teacher's bedroom in the night and steal the papers for tomorrow's exams, you can still get away with it if the papers do not belong to THAT exam.- All North Indians are idiots who drink all day, curse and sing Punjabi songs.- All South Indians are idiots who keep hitting their kids to prove a point- All Bengalis are idiots who go to the bathroom 12 times a day.

Management Lesson #10: All moviegoers are idiots.Yes they are. I swear they are. All the five people in that theatre.Each one of them.

p.s. And if you are wondering where Management Lesson #3 vanished...well, there were quite a few things the movie failed to explain. So why blame the poor "critic"?

Swades: Brilliance comes home to Indian Cinema

2005-11-30T06:14:00.000-08:00

One of the most sincere, mature and thoughtful movies to have come out from the Bollywood stable on the issue of identity / belonging / indianness. The entire idea of Indian-ness, of finding one's roots, one's identity - it has been so beautifully handled that one sometimes forgets that it is a Bollywood movie. Not far back, similar ideas where handled with amazingly high loudness and equally amazingly low logic in Pardes, interestingly starring SRK himself. Over these 6 years, SRK has come of age. Bollywood cinema has come of age. And hopefully, if even 10% of the idealism portrayed in this movie gets into you, me and us, India will come of age.

Some of the scenes have been so beautifully picturised that they cannot help moving you, and for me, these scenes best describe the movie:-

1. The protagonist is trying to create electricity. They go and fit a bulb in an old woman's house (80+, semi-blind female). When the electricity comes after all the efforts, her face is suddenly shown getting lit up on a dark screen by this bulb and she just says with a little smile - "Bijlee". Eyes which have been waiting for 80 years to see something have now seen it. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

2. There is one scene where the protagonist goes to collect money from a farmer who rented the heroine's land but has not paid up. The farmer calls him in and gives him food to eat. While SRK is eating, he narrates his story to him. The farmer tells him about his poverty and the lack of money to even buy food and clothing for his family. The farmer is sitting in the foreground, narrating. There is a lantern next to him which is illuminating him on the screen. Somewhere far in the background, his wife is sitting where another small source of light is illuminating her. Rest of the entire hut is in dark. The shot is so beautifully picturised that its a visual poetry. At the end of it, SRK gets up with hint of tears in his eyes, looks at the empty plate which he has just finished and says - "Khaane ke liye shukriya", as if he has realized the importance of that one baajre ki roti that he had just been served. Amazing. Just amazing.

3. He is a perfect yuppie carrying loads of mineral water wherever he goes in the movie. There comes a scene when SRK is travelling in the train. THere is a small kid who is running with a heavy bucket with water and khullars - "Paani le lo pachchees paise glass....paani le lo pachchees paise glass". The train is about to start but he has not got any customers. He is looking all around. He comes to SRK, looks at him and says - "Saab, paani le lo". SRK is way up in the train and the guy is at the platform - SRK is looking down at him (in itself a beautiful way to depict inequalities). SRK takes this water and for the first time, drinks "Indian" water. The expression that he has at that time, of stepping down from his pedestal and coming to terms with the reality around him....the most sincere portrayal of human emotions on Indian screen in a long long time.

No high-voltage West-bashing. No caricaturish Indian "aadarsh". No "Wahaan aaram hai, to yehaan Raam hai" dialogues. Sincere, mature, sensitive cinema at its best. Dont miss it for anything.

Kisna: Form Over Substance....at its best

2005-11-30T05:40:00.000-08:00

Kisna - Subhai Ghai's period drama is another classic case of the FOS (Form Over Substance) style of film-making that the director specializes, and shall I say, excels in: - Extra-ordinary sets but devoid of ordinary reality. - Extra-ordinary stars but ordinary acting - Extra-ordinary hype but ordinary delivery

The story-line is nothing extra-ordinary though. Poor Indian boy kid - Kisna, the quintessential maali ka beta meets rich firangi girl kid (Catherine) and the girl kid falls in love with his simplicity. This does not go down well with the Captain-Russel-of-Lagaan-esque father of the girl and he sends her off to good old England. She comes back years later to find that her flute-playing-horse-riding Kisna become a full-fledged warrior poet. He also gets engaged to his childhood sweet-heart Laxmi who, when she is not craving for his attention, is sliding down ropes hanging neck down from a banyan tree. Meanwhile, there are some other less interesting things happening around - like India getting its freedom. Plus, the local Bhagat Singhs of Paudi-Garhwal are up in war against Catherine's father, the fire being flared by a grotesque but effective looking one-eyed Amrish Puri. She somehow escapes and comes over to her loyal maali (Shivaji Samat) for help. The maali's Bhagwad Geeta quoting wife - played by Jarina Wahab) jhakjhors Kisna's antar-aatma and reminds him of his kartavya towards an innocent girl and arouses the protective man in him. What you get to see after this is a long, meandering, meaningless run-chase between the Brit police, the krantikaris and the local prince's army on one side (although chasing parallely) and Kisna & Catherine on the other side. What should have been a tight, gripping 15-minute climax chase becomes a 1.5 hour ordeal for the audience to go through.

Actors like Vivek Mushran, Hrishita Bhatt, Om Puri, Sushmita Sen appear and disappear in if-you-go-to-the-loo-you-will-miss-me meaningless appearances. The gravity of the situation is never brought out to the surface by the poor, typical Subhash Ghai attempt at creating humour out of otherwise dead-serious situations. The character of the warrior prince who is ready to put his life at stake and kill his kith and kin - a la Arjun - to honour his mother's words ends up being a shallow caricature by some of the things he is made to do on-screen just to get a few cheap laughs from the audience. Thoroughly immature screen-play, one can say. And then, there is the usual song-and-dance routine which although picturised well, is truly, madly, deeply, out of place. Oberoi fails to give any gravity to the personality that this role deserves and looks almost amateurish. Here's one actor who has stayed at his skill level, perhaps gone down, since he made his debut almost 3 years back. Isha Sarvani as the rope-dancer Laxmi has nothing else to do than hang from ropes or show some of the admittedly amazing flexibility that her body has. But then, this is Cinema and not gymnastics, as some unruly elements in the audience tried pointing out to her. Amrish Puri's swansong would not fetch him any memorable lines but it was good to see the great villain one last time on the big screen. The music is good though and Rehman manages to stride above the all-pervasive banality.

All in all, a poor screenplay, weak characterisation, and Ghai's indulgence makes Kisna another classic case of Form over Substance.

Overall rating - ** out of *****

Bewafaa: Pure Retro Drama

2005-11-30T05:38:00.000-08:00

I have a basic problem with film-makers (or people) like Dharmesh Darshan, Mehul Kumar, Inder Kumar et al. They want to take us back by about a couple of decades to the era when words like "sanskar", "ruswaa", "bewafaa" were used without the proverbial twitch of the lips or the wicked wink of the eyes. For Bewafa is not a new millenium movie by any standard, despite a good half an hour of Canada-Darshan, the miserable pun only half-intended.In the here and now of Darshan, girls marry their 10 years older Jee (Jeeju, or brother-in-law, you moron) because the sister has passed away while giving birth to not one but two kids. Come on, we thought the concept was on the wrong paar of the Nadiya now. And that high-society people live in houses which can single-handedly put Tipu Sultan's sense of architecture and Lord Curzon's ensemble of furniture to collective shame. And that high-society still means loud-Gutkha-chewing-type Uncles and fat-gross-ugly-kitty-party types Aunties glowing in litchi-light lit garden parties. After Bhandarkar's Page 3, the Anju-Manju-Sanju gang seems brazenly 80ish. Worse still, the morals, oops, the sanskar and aadarsh being projected seem straight out of Ram Rajya.

The plot - Sister (Sushmita) dies. The younger sister in Canada (Kareena) has to pitch in for the just-born kids and marry the stoic Delhi-based world-trotting Jeeju (Anil Kapoor), leaving the fusion music expert "Indian Raja" (Akshay Kumar) behind in "jannat" Canada. Kareena comes and settles in India with hubby dear but fails to get either his attention or his love, leaving her totally un-tripta. Akki resurfaces in India after a period of three years and their romance re-kindles. Finally when the time comes to make that tough call, Kareena takes aad of her Indian sanskars and chickens out. Or so it appears.

The actors - Kareena is totally out of place handling the kids and the stoic husband. She does not have the gravity of character to pull off this role.Anil Kapoor has little more than world tours to do in the film which is good in a way for the audience.Akshay Kumar is thoroughly wasted. For the first time, he looks old and tired on screen which is a worrying sign for he is one actor who has almost invariably brought some sparks in his performances.Sushmita Sen's only a guest appearance but she seems to be trying too hard to be this perfect woman, of late. Beyond a point, it can become irritating.The stand-out performance of the movies are "family-friends" Manoj Bajpayee as Dil Arora and Shamita Shetty as his wife Pallo. With Shamita you dont know, but with an actor of Manoj's calibre, you would still like to give him the benefit of doubt. His character is so irritating and unintentionally funny that for a moment, you almost forget its the same guy who sizzled the screen with 880-watt performances in Satya, Aks, Shool and other such movies. A thorough waste of precious talent.

Script, Dialogues and other such unimportant things - Belonging to a different era. Lack any sense of today's audience's tastes and sensibility.

Music - Regressive, again. Nadeem Shravan / Sameer try to re-do a Raja Hindustani but fail miserably.

As Dylan said, Times-they-are-a-changing. The choice is either to run with it or get left behind. Darshan, you surely make the Ashok Singhals proud. But the aam hindustani is looking ahead and it will help if you do too. Regress is out. Progress is in. With or without BJP's "India Shining" campaign!

Deewane Hue Paagal: The Word is "Bakait"

2005-11-29T00:39:00.000-08:00

Uttar Pradesh, the northern state of India famous for its goons, politicians and most of all vocabulary, has a very interesting word as a part of its daily lingo. The word is called "Bakait" (corrected from the earlier used Baklaul by a few Bhaiyya friends, my apologies for hurting their sentiments) and in one shot it conveys all forms of craziness that you can visualise through similar-meaning Hindi / English words - "Deewana", "Paagal", "Aawara", "Joker", "Cartoon", "Punk", "Freak" and the likes. This is the only way to describe Deewane Hue Paagal: It is a Bakait movie, simply put.

Leaving general / vocabulary knowledge aside, what surprises one about this movie is its director. Vikram Bhatt is an enigma. His lack of consistency can put the hula-hoop like run-scoring pattern of all Indian batsmen to collective shame. For every Ghulam, there is an Inteha. For every Awaara Paagal Deewana, there is an Aap Mujhe Achche Lagne Lage. But with this one, coming straight after the super-duds Elaan and Jurm, he has delivered a clear winner.

The Story: If you have seen There's Something About Mary, I don't need to tell you the story and you can move straight to the next para. If you haven't, it goes like this - Shy Boy (Shahid Kapoor) Meets Hot Girl (Rimii-with-an-Extra-I Sen) in College. Shy Boy falls in love with Hot Girl. Hot Girl sees a murder happening and elopes to Dubai to escape the clutches of the Bad Guy (Om Puri). But he is unable to forget her and after three years, comes to know she is in Dubai. Shy Boy gives supaari to a Road Romeo to find about his vanished love. Road Romeo finds her all right, but happens to himself fall in love with her. After all, there is something about Rimii. Shy Guy when he goes there also realises that the Road Romeo is not the only one to have done so. There is a plumber acting as an Architect (Sunil Shetty), a normal man acting as a mentally retarded boy (Paresh Rawal) and a blind-tomfoolering Asrani. The Baddie catches up with the Hottie amidst several comic sequences involving the four suiters, taken straight out of the 1998 Hollywood hit. Finally, after a generally-dragged-but-exquisitely-executed action chase sequence, truth prevails and the Shy Guy walks away with the Hot Girl into the sun-set.

The Screenplay: Although inspired, it rocks. The comic sequences are genuinely funny and don't bore you for a moment. Check out the scene in which Shahid Kapoor goes to Rimii's place and gets attacked by the dog. Even if you have Been-There-Seen-That, you can't help freaking out at the deft execution.

The Actors: Akshay rocks in the comic as well as action sequences. The streaks of comic talent you first noticed in Khiladi were for real and have completely matured now. Post Govinda's exit, he is the best comic star in the country today. Shahid Kapoor fails to impress. Dunno what Kareena sees in him apart from his Heads & Shoulders hair. Rimii Sen does the business of looking hot fairly well although some of her outfits she wore were funny, although, I presume, unintentionally. Paresh Rawal, surprisingly, does not stand out. Worries me....is the great actor getting typecast? Suresh Menon is funny in parts as as the North-Indian baddy's South Indian son (eeks) but starts irritating towards the end. Sunil Shetty is decent in his clutches-carrying funny character. Om Puri pulls of the Punjabi bad guy like only he can. The surprise element is the narrative, managed by an unlikely Sutradhar - Vivek Oberoi. Oberoi manages to pull it off fairly well. His rhyming dialogues were crisp and funny and he renders them quite well. Basically, it was good to not get irritated by him for the first time since Saathiya. A special mention needs to be made of Vijay Raaz. He and Rajpal Yadav started off together with Jungle and their initial career moves followed similar paths. Somewhere Rajpal started getting the meatier roles but Vijay seems more like the lambi-race-ka-ghoda if his last few performances are an indicator. He is simply superb in this movie.

The Music: Sucks. If Anu Malik is a singer, I am MS Subbalakshmi. Every song only manages to break the rhythm.

Overall rating: 31/2 out of 5. Watch it and go "Bakait-ing".

Garam Masala: Reasonably Hot, Reasonably Spicy

2005-11-03T09:39:00.000-08:00

First things first. Garam Masala is no Herapheri.Hell, its not even Hungama. However, if you have setyour expectations right from the God ofcomedy-outta-confusion Priyadarshan's latest comicflick, chances are you won't be disappointed. The movie does not really sizzle like the earlier two super-comedies, but has enough spice in it to have you glued to your seat for the two and a half hours that it runs.

The Story: There is no story. May be not such a bigthing with a comic caper but probably - if I look back- that is the difference between this movie and the other two mentioned here. The confusion here seems to be a little forced, without any solid justification of the inability of the ones confused to get out of it.The raison detre in Herapheri's chaos was the stupid phone-set, the same being the name "Anjali" inHungama. A reason the people involved could not see, and hence, could not correct. Here, the confusion is man-made. Literally enough, it has been made by the "man" in Akshay Kumar wanting to have three part-time "mangetars" at the same time, while he has a "real" mangetar already waiting for him at his Mamaji's home. This is probably the only problem with the movie. The confusion doesn't grip you the way it does in theother two movies. You don't feel helpless -and, as a result, helplessly funny - the way you did watching them.

The Acting: However, this doesn't really stop the movie from being funny. It generates enough laughs to keep your stomach occupied for the duration it runs. And almost all of them are primarily because of Akshay Kumar. Akki proves once again that he is way ahead of his contemporaries when it comes to tickling the viewer's funny bone. He literally carries the movie solely on his comic timing and funny dialogue delivery(although it is exactly the same Delhi-Haryana border accent that he threw at us 8 years back in Mr. & Mrs. Khiladi).

Paresh Rawal - who had been given roles-of-a-lifetimeby Priyadarshan in Herapheri and Hungama has, surprisingly, less meaty a role to do in this flick. He doesn't have a funny accent (is that the reason???), doesn't get to mouth too many funny lines but still manages to pull the show in his Jeeves-esque Uncle Mambo role. He is pleasing but the role could have been given more meat - he is probably the finest comic actor in the country today.

John Abraham disappoints. Actually doesn't as I have never thought very highly of him as an actor. He mightbe able to pull off the Bastard-I-Will-Kill-You lookwallah act well but a comic role is just not his cup of tea. One thing that needs to be said about him,however, is that he looks sincere and tries hard. But comic ability, I think, is more like Lycra - eitheryou have it or you don't. And seems like Johnny Boy doesn't. The film actually picks up only after he leaves for America. Till that time - about half an hour into the movie - its quite tepid. But once Akkiboy sets the ball rolling, he comes back (about an hour later) to do a reasonably good job with his act.At best, a sincere effort.

Rajpal Yadav seems to be trying too hard as well. He is an actor with natural comic timing, but of late,all his roles demand a hyper-activity from him which is looking repetitive and at times, even irritating. Take it easy, Rajpal. We know you have it in you.

Rimii (or Riimi, or Riimii, I don't know much about this extra "i", or for that matter the extra "k" business) has absoluetly nothing to do in this role except sulk. And that too in an orange salwar-kameez. All throughout the movie. Come on, Priyadarshan. Didyou not see Dhoom? I dont think the viewers would have minded seeing her in one of those teeny-weeny-itsy-bitsy outfits for at least one of thesongs.

The trio of Deepti-Sweety-Pooja (their characternames, can't recall their real names) do the businessof looking good quite well but remain faceless. Actually, they haven't done all that bad a job with their parts. Its just that their faces lack any recallvalue whatsoever.

Neha Dhupia bores in the first 30 minutes of the movie and then thankfully disappears to never return. Asrani is impressively funny in a brief appearance.

The Music: Tepid. Anu Malik does not give a single memorable song. This has been one weak area of Priyadarshan's movies all throughout, but he still insists on putting the requisite 5-6 songs in the screenplay.

Screenplay: Good. Makes up for the lack of a real story. The dialogues, along with the screen act, are funny although any memorable lines are missing (remember "Kabeera Speaking" in Herapheri or "ChhotaChetan" in Hungama?). Overall, watch it for the sheer comic timing of AkkiBhai and the mastery over the confusion-craft of Priyadarshan. Recommended for a lonely, boring Sunday afternoon or even for a peppy Saturday night withfriends.

Overall rating 3 - 3 1/2 out of 5.

James - Watch it for style

2005-10-30T19:55:00.000-08:00

The punchline is that you'd have seen all the scenes in James at least 4-5 times before. Despite that, the treatment is so different, you don't feel like yawning and taking a walk outside the theater to make a call on your cell or have a smoke.

There is no story. Of course, there is the small town simpleton in big bad Mumbai, with small town idealism, will to fight and super human strength liberating the city from the tentacles of the devil personified bit in lieu of the story. Don't watch James if you want to see realistic cinema or a story.

Watch James if you want entertainment 80's style - thrill, adventure and rough and tumble - tough guys and hot women, idealistic hero and lascivious villain, helpless police and corrupt cops. Watch James if you want to see the raw intensity of a fresh face and some fine performances. Watch James if you want to watch some very well executed sequences.

Apart from the narrative and the message, the success of the movie (and we are not talking about box office success) is determined by its ability to evoke the kind of emotions that it intends to evoke in the audience. On that count, James scores high. You identify with the protagonist's fearlessness, though you may feel he does things that you may never do in real life, you feel the intense hatred and anger aganist the villain, you feel the warmth of camaradeire between the hero and his friend, you feel the helplessness of the heroine's father and you feel the self righteous zeal of a puny servant to protect the modesty of his accidental guest.

The Verma factory seems to have mastered a lot of aspects of film making - though all of their movies are not great, some are even outright bad. Two of the things they have perfected are cinematography and background music.

Camera work is superb. The deft use of black and white frames, the interplay of light and shade and exciting camera angles enhance the impact of scenes to high levels of intensity.

Background music is also great. A variation that works really well is the theme music for the villain and the hero - so whenever we have the villain in action, we have a specific kind of eerie music filling the scene and whenever the hero moves, its a different guitar tune.

Dialogues are interesting. The reticent hero, at places, mouths sharp one-liners. The intro sequence of the hero, with his half amused, "Maar padegi.." is cool. The villain does mouth some crude lines but thats in line with his persona.

Performance wise, Shereveer, who plays Radhe Narayan is impressive. The slight twinkle in his eyes, the twitch of his lips and the obscene movement of his tongue bring the cruel, lecherous and manic character live. Zakir Hussain, as a corrupt politico-criminal excels. Mohan Agashe is wasted. Rajpal Yadav does well in his short role. The rest of the side cast also pulls off well.

In the lead pair, Nisha doesn't have to do anything apart from baring her midriff and trying to do Urmila-esque dances a la Rangeela. She fails miserably in that. Dialogue delivery is not great, but that doesn't hurt as her main job here is to look hot and sexy and at times vulnerable which she pulls off well.

Mohit Ahlawat has got intensity but he has to work on his dialogue delivery. He shows that he can emote and is much better than a lot of Bikram Salujas and Himanshu Maliks and even Fardeen Khans but thats an area he would do well to improve.

At the end, Ramu may have his own opinion about the movie, but its still laudable, more so because the movie takes a beaten to death plot and (also, is quite eloquent about it) makes it interesting on the strength of its treatment.

You won't get bored and and you won't curse me.

Elaan - the worst ever climax

2005-10-27T00:44:00.000-07:00

At the end of the movie, while you come out pulling your hair, there are a couple of things you don't comprehend:

1)Vikram Bhatt's direction:

a) Baba Sikandar is a dreaded baddy – though he doesn’t do anything dreadful in the movie, scores of his goons, professional shooters cant hit one shot on target - at five of the amateur fighters trapped in a hotel lobby, gets caught without resistance like a sheep, brought to courts like a lamb and then hanged like a dead chicken.

b) Amisha Patel has a software on her laptop which, given a mobile number, locates its whereabouts. Now, International Killer Baba Sikandar is poor and naïve enough to use only one cell phone and the police of three countries is naïve enough not to have this “miracle software”.

c) Shooting and firing automatic rifles is as easy as wearing navel and shoulder baring tops. Wonder why do police men and army people have to go through the rigmarole of weapon training.

2)Vikram Bhatt’s Cast selection

a) Rahul Khanna may look good as a heir to a tycoon – he doesn’t have the intensity to carry off a vengeance driven man ready to take on the feared killer who has his tentacles spread practically everywhere.

3)Leading Men and Women

a) Arjun Rampal is the saving grace. He pulls off the tough ex-cop with a calculating brain with ease.

b) John Abraham disappoints – his recent releases gave an impression that probably, he was not one of those sweet faced models fit only to shoot ads for underwears – but here, he forces one to think again. Particulrly in the sequence when he is trying to resuscitate Arjun Rampal, he looks irritating at best.

c) Rahul Khanna is bland. He can probably do rich NRI, young tycoon etc but his expressionless face kills the lead character of a dynamic man driven by revenge.

d) Ladies shed clothes and look good. Lara Dutta still saves some grace as a gun totting woman.

e) Mithun Da acts well in a half baked character. More on this later.

f) Chunkey Pandey and Milind Gunaji are as dumb and as hilarious as any of the villain’s cronies from any of the 80’s movies. Have got nothing to act in the movie.

4) Mithun Da as Baba Sikandar

a) You can not comprehend this character with any semblance of logic.

b) Probably Vikram Bhatt thought that if he has 50 characters in the movie saying that Baba Sikandar is the Devil himself, the audience will be afraid in their seats. Infact you start feeling the dichotomy after a little while – all the characters mouth dialogues presenting Baba as some kind of an Osama Bin Laden while everytime you see him, he turns out to be a wimp.

c) He kills his brother because he doesn’t want him to die like a dog in Indian prisons while not firing a single shot at his tormentors.

d) While fierce shootout is going on, he quietly walks inside a roadside room, sits and meditates as if asking Gods for Divyastras, which of course never come. Later you realize he was not even asking Gods for Divyastras. What the hell was he doing…..Mystery…..mystery..

All in all a major disappointment to all those who expected a slick stylish vendetta movie with a powerful villain – all we get is an illogical hotchpotch with half cooked characters and a confused and wimpy lead negative character. And come to think of it, Vikram Bhatt seems to have suggested it to be a modern rehash of Sholay…………Cummon now……respect some of the audiences’ intelligence too…

Watchability: 0 (Can’t even watch it once)
Rating: *

Rog - Can watch it twice

2005-10-27T00:42:00.000-07:00

In a nutshell, a nice, tight movie which could have easily done with
slightly better casting.

First of all, those who expect a skin fest a la Murder or Jism will be
disappointed. The skin show is limited to the promos only.

The script is tight and much better executed than a lot of movies we
see these days. A murder mystery which actually manages to keep you
glued and guessing till the last shot. The director has done well to
resist the temptation of throwing in dream sequences and fantasy songs
and that helps the pace of the script.

Irrfan Khan as an intense supercop is as usual, superb. The disdain
for the society life, P3 crowd is aptly brought out and so is his
immense focus on his job. You fear that the character may lose itself
when he starts getting infatuated with the leading lady but the
director has done well by not getting carried away and that saves the day for the tough Cop Uday Rathore.

The firang actress looks distinctly out of place. The only
justification of why she is there may be that the producers wanted a
firang bimbo instead of an Indian.

Himanshu Malik does well as a P3 party hopper, a good looking himbo.

But the surprise package is Suhel Seth. He starts with irritating you
with his affected speech giving you the impression of trying too hard to act.
However, towards the end of the movie, he actually comes good and
manages a couple of good sequences.

Manish Makhija is irritating though he looks realistic and mouths some
interesting lines.

All in all, a well executed project which could have been better.

Watchability Index: 1+ (# of times one can watch this movie in a short
interval without pulling his hair out)
Rating: **1/2

Salaam Namaste - ok...now where do I puke ???

2005-10-16T18:38:00.000-07:00

Lets start with the good things about Salaam Namaste. The best thing about the movie starts after the movie ends- yes you read it right. The director, in a seemingly-innovative-but-plagiriased-from-"Rush Hour"-twist, has put up an assortment of behind the screens scenes during the closing credits - so a couple of hilarious mis-shots during shooting and some leg pulling amongst the cast that he places at the end do invoke some genuine laughter. Also, Javed Jaffery pulls off his comic character with elan generating some well deserved laughs. Arshad Warsi creates some nice moments with his sharp one-liners which, though hilarious, are nowhere a patch on the fabulous job he did in MunnaBhai.

Apart from that, this movie expects you to laugh and cry by creating such situations at which any person with even very modest sensibilities would wonder as to what did he do to the director to make him treat his intelligence with such disdain.

Coming to the specifics, you are expected to laugh when:

1. A fat, dark guy with a big white tikka on his forehead hams "Hambar...Hambar" mimicking the Bollywood stereotype of a south Indian.

2. Saif hams,"Hambar...Hambar" and Preity hams, "Nikhil Arora.....Nikhil Arora..." heyy, havent you already fallen off your chair with laughter ??

3. Saif drinks milk on a commode toilet seat.

4. Preity pukes in his cap.

5. Abhishek Bachhan peeps between Preity's legs where he is a doctor and Preity is the pregnant lady about to deliver.

6. Preity tries hard to "push" the babies off her womb...while everybody around the bed cheers as they'd have done to the Sachin of yore tearing apart Shane Warne.

7. Preity gives crude orgasmic moans on finally managing to eat some Belgian chocolate ice-cream - the background is that she is pregnant and has uncontrollable cravings for this particular brand of chocolate, which, Saif and Preity somehow manage to find in the middle of the night.

8. You see stickers saying, "No fart zone" pasted at the doors of the house that Preity and Saif share.

The list is endless, I bet your patience would not be.

Ok, now moving on to the senti stuff. You are supposed to gather all your sensitivity and be moved to tears when:

1. Saif, who had initially refused to take the responsibility of the child he fathered, gets so moved to own up his child that he undergoes a blood test to find out if he is thalasemic. Gosh, can you imagine, a blood test - now, ain't that the biggest sacrifice ever made by a father for his son - undergoing a blood test. Its a sacrifice because our man (ok, metrosexual) is scared of blood and blood tests, whatever that means.

2. Whenever you look at Preity in the second half in dresses which invariably leave the lower 27% of her ridiculously inflated belly bare. Guess the director thought the bigger the belly is, the more sensitized would the audience be of the trauma that Preity's character is going through. This, combined with bare lower one fourth of the belly would evoke extra large sympathy and empathy in the audience.

A couple of things that I failed to comprehend were:

1. Saif, who's an architect by qualification, an immigrant to Australia and such a successful chef that he qualifies for the tag of "Successful Indians in Australia" is ohhhhh so innocently unaware of the consequences of having sex. (ok, we do get the "Protection not being 100% safe" stuff but that scene is too far from being credible)

2. Indians in Melbourne have nothing better to do in life than listening to the love story of a god forsaken RJ in a god forsaken radio station. Can't say about Melbourne because I've never been there but while in Delhi, I am as bothered about some RJ of 93.5 FM falling in love with a chef as Preity Zinta is bothered about my wearing brown socks instead of black.

3. Drinking in the pub with a girl, bringing her home and sleeping with her through the night is not infidelity - and if you didn't "do anything" with her, you are absolved and "Ganga ki tarah pavitra". I wish my girl friend was this magnanimous.

Actors wise, Preity, though looking slightly old in close-ups, looks beautiful and is very likeable with her high energy levels.

Saif Ali Khan, it seems, has perfected the art of playing the pussilanimous, spineless male protagonist. He did it in Kya Kehna, he did it in Parineeta and he does it in Salaam Namaste now. One nice piece of thinking displayed by the director is the white and pink ladies top worn by Saif throughout the climax with "Girl Power" writen on it with glitters. Nothing fits Saif's character better. Saif is a reasonably decent actor and he pulled it off well, but he couldn't rise above what his director gave him and that's fair enough.

Arshad Warsi and Javed Jaffery are good actors and pull off all their scenes with panache.

Abhishek Bachhan, in the guest appearance, breaks many hearts. After admiring him in LoC, Yuva, Bunty Aur Babli and Sarkar, I couldn't help but wonder at his selection of roles. He is painful at best and disgusting at worst. What made him take up this role is beyond comprehension.

The crib is not at not having been given an exquisite piece of cinematic brilliance, given the trademark Karan-Johar look of the movie and a cast containing Saif Ali Khan (yes, I know he got a National Award for Hum Tum). No body expected that. All one is asking is, "Please don't treat us like completely moronic, vacuum headed sub-humanoids, esp. when we did pay for the ticket".

The issue is just basic respect for the other guy.

-SVLS